*Contains Affiliate Links*
What do most patients regret?
When I look back at my life, I do not want to have a life of regrets. While working at the bedside with patients, I always talked to them.
Probably what I miss most about working in the hospital.
The connection to people that normally you would never meet. With that said, I would prefer to meet people when they are at their best, not worst. But meeting people at their worst, they like to reminisce about their lives. Talk about what they wished they had done and what they regret missing out on.
I worked in the hospital as a bedside nurse for 15 years.
I worked in almost every department except the OR. The patients can not talk to me, so I would never work there. I like people. I loved my elderly patients, the ones who would talk your ear off.
Why? They are wise; they know more than anyone else. Life can only provide what you will listen to. So I listened, soaking up their experiences, life lessons, and advice.
Of course, I always had one major question for each person. What do you regret, and why?
To me, this was the ultimate question for a person over the age of 80–90 reflecting on their life. People talk to nurses. We are not family; we are just a person they will never see again, usually. We are safe, we are kind, and in my case, I want to listen.
Their story could take over an hour, as I would frequently have to attend to other patients, but I always came back and reminded them where they left off because I wasn’t asking just to ask. I wanted to know their answer.
So what was the number 1 answer, and how did it affect my life so much?
They never said the things that I thought.
They never said ¨I wish I spent more time making money or having more kids¨. They always said they regretted staying in an unhappy marriage, an unhappy job, and making money the priority. Some even regretted having children! This one blew me away.
Especially as a female who does not want them. I thought they would tell me to have children, or I would regret it.
NO, they said, do not have children; instead, see the world, experience it, and do not stay in an unhappy job, life, or marriage.
Do the ONE thing you can not stop thinking about.
That will lead you to other things, and slowly, you will realize the meaning of life.
Life is not for us to stay in an unhappy job, life, or marriage. Money is not the most important thing. Do I think you need money, yes, but do I think you need a lot, no. And neither did any of my patients. Money causes wars, anger, hate, feuds. They would tell me to spend it all before I die.
What did I do with this information? I bought a one-way ticket!
Do I regret quitting a 6 figure job + stability to pursue something imaginary?
Are dreams really imaginary? I guess they are since they only exist in my head, but can they come true.. YES? Before you think I am a loony toon, let me get to the point! When I quit my bedside nursing job, I had a remote job lined up.
I think this is a very important part of quitting a job, having a backup plan, or, as I call them, baby steps.
The job did not pay well, but for my own mental health, not to be too stressed about money, it was essential to have another job. I have never in my life not had a job.
Okay, I derailed a little. As I write this post, I have officially been on the road as a nomad for three years! I can not believe it myself. In this time, I have had three remote jobs, been laid off because of COVID-19, found random ways to make a little money, and realized I do not need that much money. My younger self knew the importance of investing and saving. I am lucky she was so smart!
So the big question is, DO I Regret leaving the bedside?
100% I do not miss going to work. I still think about my dread when I had to work the next day. Hoping that I would have a good day, not get yelled at by a co-worker, manager, doctor, or someone else pissed off and unhappy.
I don’t think we realize how much abuse they distribute at the hospital or any job. It has taken me probably three years to get over the toxic burnout that I suffered. The only thing I miss is my interaction with my patient, which was and will forever be the best part of my old life.
For so long, I knew I had to quit, leave, and do something different.
I felt like it trapped me in the matrix, and I didn’t know how to escape. Little did I know all I had to do was remove myself, sell all my belongings, and leave. It sounds so simple now, but it can be hard to see the truth when you are in the middle of it.
It is a huge decision. Do not think that I think a life-changing decision is easy. Just now, as I reflect, I remember how stressed I was about everything! It was the biggest decision of my life, and it is not to be taken lightly. It brings back all the feelings, but would I do it again, in a heartbeat, maybe sooner?
Do you ever have that gut feeling to do something different?
I never want to be that person asked what do you regret, and I say not quitting or not listening to my intuition. We see now that most employers do not value their workers. Am I saying we should all quit our jobs? Of course not.
I am saying to find something that fits you and to do that, walk away. Trust me, you will always land on your feet when you follow your true self. If I did not take that leap, I knew I would end up sick or unhappy; instead, I live with less, no regret, and am more present every day. I get to choose how I spend my days. One day will I go back to the hospital I don’t know. What I know is there are so many opportunities out there.
In my career, one thing that I always did was ask for what I wanted.
This is in life as well. What do you want?
Are you willing to ask for it?
Be ok walking away from something to get something you know you truly want. I had a job once, and I absolutely hated it. I didn’t hate it but didn’t want to do it full-time. Knowing they would never let me go part-time, I quit.
I had mentioned part-time, and they said no, and I called their bluff. I put in my two weeks. I had been at this hospital for over six years, so it was time to leave.
Two weeks later, they called me into the office to ask what they could do to make me stay. I laughed and told them exactly what I wanted: 2 days a week, full-time benefits, and six weeks off that summer to travel to Europe. Do you think they let me? Of course, they did.
They were happy that I agreed to stay, and I was happy also, so it was a win-win. It only happened because I would walk away. I was vested and had much to lose, but I took the chance. I did quit two years later for other reasons.
Take a chance on yourself, know your value, and ask! If you never ask, you will never receive, and trust me, you will always get what you need, not what you want.
So what do you want? Do you want to work remotely? Have you asked?
Tips on how to work remotely and ask for what you want.
Journal: Write what your heart is telling you, everything just write. You will notice a pattern.
Once you have the top 5 things, act on one at a time. Remember, baby steps.
ASK! If you want to go remote, ask to work remotely one or two days a week. The worst that can happen is they say no. (Then you can start looking for a remote job!)
Do you want to quit nursing? Or do you want a better schedule? Ask!! If you hate nights, ask to switch to days. If they don’t let you, are you prepared to walk away? Trust me, tons of hospitals will take you, plus a sign-on bonus!
Do you have the courage to put yourself first? If you don’t put yourself first, how do you expect others to?
Trust me, you are worth it! Do not be that patient at the end of their life saying, “I regret not doing what I want”
Okay, so you may agree with me or not. I only speak from experience. Ask for what you want. It took me over three years to get the courage to quit my six-figure career. I told everyone I was going to for three years! It was a running joke.
“Sara, you’re still here, haha”
I just said yep, I am, but not for long. Then, one day, it was no longer a joke. I said funny, you say that today is my last day. I have a one-way ticket to Colombia and a remote job.
I was no longer a joke. Be ok with others laughing at your dream because you are the only person who matters. We are all a joke until we aren’t.
It takes time. Do not beat yourself up or be hard on yourself. Give yourself some grace, and just keep dreaming. It will happen.
Drop me a comment, could you walk away from a 6 figure salary to make less than 10K a year, but have the experience of a lifetime?
BE open to change; we only grow when we say yes to change.
What are you willing to change to get the life, career, or dream you have always wanted?
Suggested Reading:
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing
Free Download: Should I Quit My Job To Travel?
XOXO
S
I was shocked to read women regretted having kids! If I told you how many women said to me that it was too bad I didn't have any, it might be more shocking. It's not a question I like answering because at 66 it no longer matters why I didn't have any.
Quitting jobs: I think in a lifetime I counted well over 40 jobs. It wasn't because I was a serial drifter, it was because I tried to find the right career and/or the right place to live and this is ONE regret I had that never happened.
I ended up staying in casino gaming almost all my life because it afforded me freedom in my off time, even though chained to a time clock while working.
Good article!