The real reason I quit my ICU nurse job
After 15 years of working in the hospital, I walked away.
This was it. If I got yelled at and made to feel small one more time, I was quitting.
If I got yelled at one more time for my whiteboard not being updated, I was quitting.
If I get yelled at by management, the doctors, staffing, or the charge nurse, I quit.
I got harassed to get the flu shot; I mean bullied in the workplace (this is even before COVID-19). I actually quit that job for that reason. Someone (the hospital, management, CEO) will not bully me at work.
First, I would like to say I was not getting yelled at for reasons you expect.
Poor performance and poor patient care. No, my patients were the best part of my job. I love people. I love taking care of them and treating them like family. It was the ONLY part of being a nurse I liked and miss.
I once had an assistant nurse manager wait outside a patient’s room to “inform” me that my Foley bag was 1/2 full and needed to be emptied. This is not an emergency (and does not need to be emptied!).
I had five patients, and I was dealing with a patient who just pooped the entire bed, and his family was visiting. Naturally, this was my priority.
I saw her hovering there, waiting at least 10 minutes for me. If she had 10 minutes to wait, she could have emptied the non-emergent Foley!
Instead, she stood and waited.
I'm pretty sure my response was, “If you feel it is an emergency, you can do it,” and I walked away.
I was pissed. I swore I was quitting. I said this every day for at least 10 years. And I was a nurse who liked my job.
There are always staffing issues. When you are the charge nurse, it is your responsibility to find staffing. This means calling nurses on their days off to come in. This is not cool. If you are off, you are off.
Yet on the flip side, you are in charge nurse and if you leave your staff short, then you are the bad guy.
If you get management involved, they usually get pissed and say deal with it. I can say this because I was a charge nurse for about five years before it burned me out.
This was the decline of what I had spent five years in school to become a Nurse. I remember when I passed my boards, I felt like a whole new world just opened up.
It did, but I didn’t know I was entering the shark's den, which is controlled by pharmaceutical companies and the government.
I became disgruntled. I just went to work and home and work and home, almost in zombie mode. I became depressed and started drinking more.
What was I doing with my life? Who goes to work to be abused?
Why was my job slowly killing me inside? I went down a rabbit hole of how to fix my job and what I really wanted to do with my life, and I wanted to quit and travel the world.
Of course, the hospitals create an illusion that they care about you. When it gets crazy, they order you pizza or, for nurse week, give you a lunch bag.
We do not want this. We want an extra day or two of vacation.
Let me tell you, you are just a pulse, and are replaceable if you feel unappreciated in any career quit. They will replace you.
We want a raise. My friend is a manager. She says we do it because it’s the only thing we, as managers, can do for the staff. The hospitals have such a tight grip on your livelihood; they are creating slaves.
They know you need them, and they have the power.
Until they don’t anymore.
Honestly, I do not know how many of you nurses have made it through this pandemic.
I am so happy I left prior and do not have to work somewhere that tells me what I have to inject into my body. We are going backward on time instead of progressing.
This seemed like a dream. I had to escape the claws that always held the dangling carrot with money.
It is easy to get stuck in nursing because you can make a ton of money. This is also what is used to control you and keep you stuck—not just in nursing, but in anything.
The dangling carrot, the what-if. Then, if you can only get here, it will be different. That is bullshit.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to cut the cord around your own neck.
So I did. I decided I would no longer work for the healthcare mafia because it is a mafia. I think now, with this situation going on, more and more healthcare workers are waking up.
I am realizing there are other ways to make money, other careers that are not toxic. I know it is possible to walk away from a career that no longer serves you.
My advice is to save as much money as you can and walk away. Or we all need to stand up and say no.
The problem is too many offers not to make 70K in three months is intoxicating.
But do not fall for it. It is all a trap. We need to get out of the mindset that money will save us. It will not. There are tons of ways to make money without being abused for 12 hours a day.
Six years ago, I walked away from being an ICU nurse, making $90 an hour. I have never looked back. I found a new home in a new country, a new career, and finally cured 15 years of abuse and burnout.
Have you walked away from an abusive relationship? Yes, a career can be an abusive relationship!
Drop me a comment. I would love to hear your story.
XOXO
S.
That is so tragic for you and for everyone, nurses, patients, staff, etc. I don’t know if the circumstances you mention affect doctors too?, but probably the doctors, too, have to toe the lines that the hospital management defines. My solution as a healthcare consumer is I go to holistic doctors who already question mainstream medicine. 😘